‘Am I Normal Yet?’ Holly Bourne tackles love, friendship, and mental health with honesty and humor

Am I Normal Yet? Holly Bourne

After spending weeks eyeing up Holly Bourne’s Spinster Club trilogy in the bookshop where I work, I finally bought a copy of the first book in the series, Am I Normal Yet?, and I was delighted to find that it was nothing short of brilliant. Am I Normal Yet? follows 16-year-old Evie, who is learning how to manage her OCD symptoms, and who hopes that the new school year will give her a chance to finally be a “normal” teenage girl. Evie throws herself into social life, but finds that her flirtation with a guy named Guy is starting to chip away at her newfound sense of normalcy. Yet throughout the novel, her most important relationships are with her supportive, wise-beyond-her-years younger sister, and her two new best friends, Lottie and Amber. Together, Lottie, Amber, and Evie form the Spinster Club, a kind of feminist discussion group that introduces readers to concepts like the Bechdel Test and the Madonna-Whore complex.

At one of their meetings, Lottie brings up the idea of the manic pixie dream girl. “She’s like this invention in men’s imagination,” she explains, “but girls pretend they’re real.” Reading these lines, I wished that I had had these books when I was sixteen. At the time, almost every girl I knew wanted to be Zooey Deschanel in 500 Days of Summer: elusive, glamorous, carefree, with smooth hair and a wardrobe of quirky vintage dresses and heels that we magically knew how to walk in. In reality, we sat at our desks in sweatshirts and jeans, sleep-deprived and anxious over AP exam results and the tryouts for the school play. We yearned to be beautiful like Zooey Deschanel, beautiful in the way that One Direction sang about: we didn’t feel beautiful, but maybe we were. Maybe our own inability to recognize our beauty was the very thing that would make us beautiful to the boys we lusted after. Maybe we, too, could be the manic pixie dream girl. It never occurred to us that she might not be real—and that’s exactly why books like Am I Normal Yet? are so important.

As I read, I was blown away by how deftly Bourne writes about Big Issues like feminism and mental health without being heavy-handed or compromising on honesty or humor. Am I Normal Yet? shines a light on OCD and the experiences of recovery and relapse, but it also tells a relatable story about friendship and teenage romantic entanglements. As a teen, I loved to swoon over passages describing protagonists falling in love, and Am I Normal Yet? does have plenty of thrilling kisses and gazing-into-each-other’s-eyes moments; but one of the things that I admire about the book is its refusal to glorify romance or sex as the thing that will ‘fix’ you, while at the same time acknowledging how easy it is to be misled into thinking that, maybe, if the right person kisses you, you’ll feel whole again.

The next two books in the Spinster Club series—How Hard Can Love Be and What’s a Girl Gotta Do?—follow Lottie and Amber, and I’m eager to get a glimpse of the world from the perspectives of two characters I’ve already come to know and love. I’m equally excited to read Bourne’s first novel for adults, How Do You Like Me Now? when it debuts later this year.